Best Blonde Joke Ever

In 1998 my mom tried to e-mail me a blonde joke. This is what I got:

...

80,000 blondes meet at the Wembley Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention." The speaker says "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stu

...

and the rest was cut off. She had pasted the entire joke into the subject line of the e-mail (which can only hold so many characters) and the rest of the e-mail was blank. I laughed my head off. Here was a blonde (my mom, whom I love) trying to send a blonde joke.

Anyway, in case you're curious here's the rest of the joke (not nearly as funny as my mom's implementation, but good for a laugh:

80,000 blondes meet at the Wembley Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention." The speaker says "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
One blonde steps up. The compere says to her "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says "Eighteen." Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
The compere says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give her another chance." So he says "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says "Ninety?"
The compere sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the blonde starts crying and 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another chance, give her another chance." The compere, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says "OK! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four."
Around the stadium 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

Rain Jokes

It's been raining so much here we've been hearing a lot of rain jokes:

  • What do you call two straight days of Rain…….The Weekend.
  • Daylight Savings Time means one more hour of RAIN.
  • It takes two weeks to make Sun Tea.
  • There's a Pool in your Backyard...and your front yard...and your side yard
  • Little League started and ended on the same day!

Wacky Things Kids Say

  • Feb 2008 - When recounting their adventures in the bounceopolis place - J (10 years old): "Dad. You should totally come jump with us. There's a bunch of teenagers there your age!"
  • "When on a long drive, my five year old kept saying "Can't... hold... on... much... longer!" in the same inflection as "Cliff Hanger" on the TV show Between the Lions. We were getting pretty tired of it, until we realized she was saying "Can't... hold... it... much... longer!" and she had to use the potty.
  • M(5): "What did the tooth fairy look like?" J(9): "A glimpse of light!"

A Seven Year Old Girl's Prayers

  • "Take good care of our world. Pause. Let me rephrase that. Take good care of your world."
  • "Help all of Justin's pets to have a good night's sleep." Pause. "Except for the nocturnal ones."
  • "Help my pool to go good while I am gone." (In the middle of our pool construction)
  • "Please don't let me hamsters or the guinea pigs die while I am gone."